chattersfandomcom-20200214-history
Hulk's House
Hulk's House is a TV show created by and starring J. Hulk Wollstonecraft. Hulk also writes and directs all the episodes. The show is known for it's controversial content, most notably several violent and sex filled episodes and Hulk's famous catchphrase, "Go sit on a fucking dildo." Cast *Hulk. The main character, played by J. Hulk Wollstonecraft. He's known for his catchphrase, "Go sit on a fucking dildo," in which he tells people he doesn't like to go and find a dildo and sit on it so that it goes up said person's ass. The Hulk character is a known ladies man, yet the other characters make fun of him by calling him gay. *The Raven. Played by the non-Raven Simone Raven. A common running gag on the show is for other characters to say "That's so Raven" whenever Raven does something, and he yells at them for it. Raven is also known to hate football and had a famous love triangle with Taylor Wilde and Cody Rhodes. Unlike most female-male-male triangles, Raven was the one whose affections were being fought for instead of Taylor, the female. *Chilly. Chilly plays the car. He has a personality in the same vein of Kitt from Knight Rider. He loves Genesis, as was seen in the story arc where he's arrested for stalking Tony Banks. *Katy El Diablo. Katy is the chick. She works at a cloone hospital and is in a relationship with Millard Fillmore. She is constantly trying to prove if Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero are gay lovers. *Millard Fillmore. Millard Fillmore plays the mayor of Parts Unknown, the town Hulk's House takes place in. Though, he thinks that he is not only President Millard Fillmore but also Current President Of The United States Of America. He thinks Barrack Obama is his assistant who's just covering for him, and he thinks Joe Biden is just some crazy old man. Well, he's right about Biden. *The (Un)Great Khali. Khali is the wise man. He's the normal one of the group, but with this group, that means he's just a crazy madman, celestial creton that nobody comprehends. He has to constantly suffer fools and put up with everyone else's nonsense. He's also in love with Melina, but she ignores him and only sees him as a friend. It's heartbreaking. *Tim. Tim plays Tim. He's weird. He likes muscular chicks and skinny chicks with no boobs. What's up with that!? Tim was part on an infamous arc in which he began having a relationship with Beth Phoenix even she was seeing Maxx Awesome at the time. *Maxx Awesome. Maxx plays the lovable Irish man who shows occasionally. He too likes muscular chicks, but he also likes big beautiful women with big beautiful breasts. So, suck on that, Tim! Also, Maxx Awesome had a storyline romance with Beth Phoenix, who cheating on him with Tim. *Shemmy. Shemmy plays Hulk's uncle. He comes in, bitches about how the Jets lost again, and curses Tom Brady's name. He's a writer with a popular article on wrestling. However, it's made him several enemies. One episode had him getting speared by Goldberg. Another had him receiving a blow job from Kelly Kelly, because she misunderstood the sarcasm in the article in he belittled her by praising her. He also likes to be put in bondage by lesbians. That's just how he gets down. *Claw. Claw plays the wacky neighbor! And, by "wacky," we mean he smokes crack, breaks windows, locks himself in Hulk's bathroom, and yells about conspiracy theories. The most notable one is the theory that aliens killed President Kennedy, so the U.S. government sent NASA astronauts to the moon to kill the aliens who have set up base there in order to destablize the U.S. government's power and create the quagmire that was Vietnam. Well, they succeeded, but Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin did kill the aliens. So, let's call it a wash. Notable Guest Stars *Christina Hendricks. One of Hulk's many female conquests. She has made the most guest appearances and appears to be the most likely woman to make Hulk settle down. However, her career and Hulk's jealousy keeps this from happening. *Layla El. Another girlfriend of Hulk's. He lost her to Natalya. *Natalya. The woman who stole Layla from Hulk. *Taylor Wilde. Noted sausage lover who fell in love with Raven. However, Raven fell in love with Cody Rhodes as well. *Cody Rhodes. Taylor's rival for Raven's affections. *Melina Perez. The love of Khali's life. Yes, she's got what he needs. However, she just sees Khali as a friend. Yes, she says he's just a friend. *Beth Phoenix. Girlfriend of Maxx Awesome. She had an affair with Tim. Maxx found out. Words and fists were exchanged. *Claudio Castagnoli. Professional wrestler Katy is convinced is gay. *Chris Hero. The man Katy is convinced is Claudio's lover. Both appeared in a episode they sued Katy for slander. *Tony Banks. Genesis keyboardist Chilly stalked. *Josh Holloway. Man who created confused feelings for Hulk. *Nancy Reagan. She tried to get Claw to just say no. Claw stabbed her. *Goldberg. He speared Shemmy. *Kelly Kelly. She gave Shemmy a blow job. Notable Episodes * The Gay Kings Of Wrestling. Katy tries to prove that Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero are gay. The episode drew controversy for a Katy fantasy sequence of Claudio banging Chris in the butt and then inviting Katy to suck the "creme filling" out. Also, this was the episode in which Kelly Kelly gave Shemmy a blowjob for misunderstanding a sarcastically written praise of her in his Ring Of Hate article. * Gay Hulk. Hulk befriends Josh Holloway, who causes strange feelings for Hulk. This begins the long running gag of Hulk being gay, and featured a particularly dirty fantasy sequence of Hulk licking ice cream off of Holloway's abs. Also, Shemmy gets fired for accidentally calling Chavo Guerrero a nigger. Raven doesn't see what the big deal, and Khali tries to explain it to him. * Santa Claus Is Coming To Kick YOUR ASS!!!! Claw gets a job as a mall Santa. However, he goes crazy, leading to a huge fight between Hulk and Claw. Also, Maxx and Tim get locked in a dressing room with a pregnant lady. Maxx has to deliver the baby. Tim has to chew off the umbilical cord. And, Khali searches for the perfect gift to make his beloved Melina fall in love with him. *Diamond Dogs. Hulk is attacked by dogs spliced with cloones from Katy's workplace. Also, the relationship between Raven and Taylor Wilde begins. And, Shemmy gets speared by Goldberg, and Maxx Awesome's girlfriend, Beth Phoenix, seduces Tim. * Enter The Triforce. Cody Rhodes moves in next to Raven's house. They start up a friendship that leads to a physical attraction between the two of them. It's made stronger by a huge fight Raven has with Taylor over her love of sausages. Also, Hulk turns red and fights Claw again, and Tim tries to tell Maxx about the affair with Beth; but she stops him. *Pulp Fiction Parody #450. Taylor walks out on Raven. Cody comforts him. This leads to sex. Meanwhile, Maxx learns about Tim and Beth's affair. Also, Shemmy takes Katy on a date at the request of Millard. During said date, they go to Jackrabbit Slim's, win a twist contest, and Katy nearly OD's on Tim's heroin. He drives her to Claw's house, because he knows about ODing. Hulk begins dating Layla El. However, Natalya comes to town, causing strange feelings for Layla. And, finally, Chilly and Hulk talk about MacDonald's in France. * Let's Go Crazy. Claw catches dance fever after seeing an episode of Glee. Raven freaks out about his feelings for Cody, especially after he yells out Cody's name during sex with Taylor. Hulk catches Layla and Natalya in bed. Also, after fighting over Beth, Tim and Maxx are accidentally sent to a nuthouse. Khali tries to get them out, but he just ends up getting committed as well. CRAZY!!!! * Bikini-A-Go-Go. Parts Unknown is celebrating Spring Break. The annual Bikini Contest is held, with these fine contestants: Katy, with her coach Fillmore; Melina, with her coach Khali; Christina, with her coach Hulk; Taylor, with her coach Raven; and a bag of crap, with its coach Claw. The judges: Shemmy, Chilly, Tim, and Maxx. And, of course, bribery's a foot! Who will win!? Who will lose!? Who will get rid of Claw's bag of crap, because it's really stinking up the joint? * Spliting Headache. Raven seeks advice from Chilly about his feelings for Cody. Meanwhile, Hulk fucks Christina Hendricks in a ice cream truck. And, Khali tries to talk Shemmy out of writing an article on Melina in order to impress her. It doesn't work, and to make things worse, Melina likes the article and develops a crush on Shemmy, much to Khali's chagrin. Also, Beth tries to apologize to Maxx and fix his friendship with Tim by suggesting a threeway. Note: Claw wasn't in this episode, because he was shooting "T.J. Hooker: The Movie." * Smooth Operators. Taylor finds out about Cody and Raven. Now, Raven must choose between the two of them. Meanwhile, Chilly tries to help Khali win Melina's heart with poetry. However, Melina ends up falling for Chilly instead. Also, Fillmore has Hulk, Shemmy, and Maxx go spy on rival city WCW Special Forces before the big football game. * Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding. Hulk fucks Christina Hendricks in a diner. Meanwhile, Raven makes his decision: he chooses neither Taylor nor Cody. Instead, he's gonna learn to love himself. * Hulk Pops. Hulk comes up with a new breakfast cereal. It becomes a big sensation in Parts Unknown, and Tim manages to get him a deal with General Mills. However, it's soon discovered said cereal contains Claw's crack. The deal falls through, especially after Raven and Fillmore suck the dicks of the General Mills people and Shemmy takes a dump in their briefcases. *Hulk VS The One Eyed Monster. Khali tries to loosen up and spikes Hulk's drink with Viagra. However, Hulk gets really horny and is soon fighting the one eyed monster, if you know what I mean. Meanwhile, Raven and Chilly learn that Taylor Wilde and Tony Banks are dating. So, they talk Katy into helping them break Taylor and Tony up with cloones. *Hulk's Gotta Gun. Infamous Very Special Episode where Hulk buys a gun and goes crazy, shooting everyone. Also, Claw stabs Nancy Reagan.